My health and body keep trying to keep me down, sometimes gets the best of me... but I'm all over that!
Decided that a strong mindset equals a healthier body.  I have always had that rational, but sometimes things get the best of me.  Not anymore. 
I'm putting my mind to feeling good even on days I may not.  It's sometimes hard because people will ask "How are you?" and I have to lie and say "Great".  Well, eventually I couldn't even do that.  So I'm back to the "Great" starting tomorrow.  I think that will probably steer me to feeling better.  lololol "probably".. let's just say "IT WILL".
17 days until my MRI and Oncologist appointment in Ottawa.  I love answers.  :) 
Found an amazing radio station up here in Bobcaygeon area and I think it's new.  96.7 FM.  It has new and old music, it has country, it has rock... Love those stations that play songs that I know every word to.  Too bad I can't even list off the provinces of Canada, but I certainly can list off the lyrics to 100's of songs!  One's I have not even heard since childhood suddenly pop into my head. 
Green, I love the colour green.... it's my favourite. :)

Well, thanks to my friends, I enjoyed the long weekend and they had me distracted and having fun.  LOTS of fishing with Naz... LUV my fishing! The throbbing, pain in my neck, ear and the pressure have about driven me up the wall.  Could be the barometric pressure, that's what I'm associating this to. 
Thought I was going to go to emergency and seek SOMETHING.. didn't know what but just something to stop the pain.
Anyway, did have an amazing time with friends on our deck, singing karaoke, dancing and roasting marshmallows around the fire.  The picture to the right is us and one with my guy!  I guess it's easy enough for me to add a new pic every day when I blog... a visual sortta speak.  haha

The closer June 10th comes, the more nervous I get.  I can't wait to get this all over and find out what my little schwammy may be up to.  I also am nervous to think it may not be shrinking at all or dying.  In reality, I feel it is actually growing in size.  I have very much discomfort, pain, throbbing ect in the area.  90% of my day has me feeling it and thinking about it.  I'm impossible to figure out to many around me.  Whan asked how I am, I usually reply "Oh great"... but my face does not say that.
I hope this is all in my head and only my apprehensiveness is making this more difficult for me.
Time will tell.......

Surprise.  Sometimes I am not the strong, funny, positive healthy one with the pat on the back to make your day better.  Now is that time. 
Nothing else needs said.

June 10th.  Going to travel to Ottawa for an 8 am MRI and an 11 am appointment with the oncologist for results to see what this zapping has done.  Seems closer than 6 weeks away.  But that is what it is.  Looking forward to this so much!
What an amazing wind storm we had today!  Black sky, rain, blue sky, rain, wind.... wind..and more wind!  It was a vicious cycle all day of this. 

Flowers are blooming, robins are singing and skunks are smelling.  Spring is finally here!  Yipppeee!
What a very long and miserable winter.  It was the never ending snow falls, the icy roads, the sudden deer in the headlights, the scraping of windshields, the frozen cold work equipment and lastly, the lack of outside fitness walks.  Yup, I'm back onto them.  Going to get rid of my 10 lbs of winter blahhhhss that I accumulated over the last 4 1/2 months.  Bound and determined.
Added another "Share your story" today and I must THANK the people who are participating because I feel they are so valuable to read.  There was not ONE site I could find that would give me that much information when I was first diagnosed.  The kind that I needed to read that brought it all together in one list of paragraphs.  THANK YOU!
Once again, life is so amazingly wonderful and I am so glad to be a part of it with the family and friends that are within it.  Holy sappy-ness... lol 

I have something else all my life.  Geographical tongue.  Reason it is called that is because it literally looks like a map all over your tongue.  It flares up really badly at times, like now.  Other times you would not know you have it.  When it flares up, my tongue swells, gets VERY sore, ulcers on it, bumps and ridges all over it.  NIce eh?? lol
Makes it hard to eat too.. might be a good thing!  Anyway, went to the doctor and I have to go back in two days as he said it could be strep that I have also.  Been feeling like crap lately.  Once again, I will make note here, I am looking very forward to my first visit with my oncologist this June to see exactly what this radiation has done.  Feels a little swollen in there lately, but could be due to the infection I am fighting.  Waaa waaaa waaaa... whoa is me. lol
On a lighter note, we have blizzard warnings and it's only 4 days until Easter!!!!  Hope he has snow shoes! :)

Well, I have been busy making up a questionnaire.  I have met so many people who have found this website.  Each one with a story to tell.  Each one with their own feelings and thoughts on their treatments. 
Please take the time to fill out the quesitonnaire.  It can be found along the side menu.
I will post the results on this website with NO names being used.  This way, when others find this site or need future treatment, there are examples to learn from.
Thank you so much!

Well, ( "tumors" for my American friends haha)
Debulking the tumours means removing the tumours.  Some choose this option.  Seems like a great idea!  To some it is (although I have not met any long term ones yet).  To some it is not. 
What I understand about it ,, and I am no doctor, but from what I understand they cut open the outer membrane of the tumour.  They pop out the tumour after carefully resecting it from the 10th cranial nerve.  To keep the nerve intact they must leave a very small piece of the tumour or else the 10th nerve gets comprimised.  They they resew up that open empty sac. 
Here is the part that I have read about, the darn thing can grow back.  Bigger, faster and within less time.  I have not only read about it, but I have talked to 3 different people who have chose this route and it has grown back even larger within 3-5 yrs.  Two different people had it happen twice to them.  I am only bringing this up to anyone thinking of having it removed but leaving the vagus nerve intact.  Get all the facts and statistics.  Not sure how many grow back against how many don't grow back.  I have only talked to 3 that have.  I have talked to others who had the 10th nerve actaully resected to make sure the entire tumour is removed.  This of course creates problems with voice, swallowing ect...
You can always have raditaion to what ever they leave behind then it won't grow back because it's dead.  The one patient had that done when she went under for the 3rd time. 
Anyway,,, find out every option, get the facts, get the statistics, find the right ENT/Neurologist/Oncologist/Surgeon/Radiologist and do your thing :) (only my very very humble opinion of course)

OK, I'll be honest here, my moods freak for one day.  There ya have it.  I read the previous post below and thought to myself, "Holy whiner!"  Thing is, I never knew it then, but I know it now... pms.  I'm sure I could go back month by month and it would be pretty consitent.  I actually had an entire year of postings on here but I removed them as some were too personal... lol (like this one isn't?)
I was told with C.K. treatment that some symptoms will never go away.  Damage done is damage done.  Hence I still get some of my symptoms with breathing and such.  BUT, one symptom that did not come back is that choking feeling.  The feeling that someone has me against a wall and is choking me and slowly cutting off my airway, eyes bulging and tearing.  That was me every night towards the end before I got my radiation.  That is gone!!!!!!! :)  So, for that reason, I feel my tumour has infact shrunk.
I am now late for my 9 am appointment.  She's a great customer of mine and knows of my procrastination lifestyle lol.  I on the other hand just consider it "finding other things to do instead of the thing I am supposed to be doing".
Have a great weekend ahead!!!!