Go figure, I'm going to buy a karaoke machine today.  Funniest thing is I already had one.  Tonnes of cd's too!  When I first got diagnosed with my schwannoma and I was already having vocal problems at the time.  Have been for the last 8 yrs actually.  Anyway, when I was diagnosed, I was angry inside.  They told me I would eventually lose my vocals.  So I took the machine and tossed it into the dump with all the cd's.  Silly yes.  Therapy?  Maybe.  The guy at the dump took the machine, he could not find the cd's or mics.. lol  He took the machine and sold it.  The old president of our community here was mad at me for throwing it away and not donating it to the community.  DUH!  Seriously, it WAS mine.  He went to the dump to get it and the dump guy wanted 50 bucks for just the machine.  hahahahha 
Well, the kids like karaoke.  Chris is a pro. Shawn enjoys it somewhat when he gets going.  James will sit back and watch.  Ava is a pro and hound at the mic.  Maddie loves to sing also.  Naz enjoys singing too but is a closet singer until you add beer.  So there ya have it, I'm buying one today!
Maybe one day I'll jam on it too.  :)
Seems my voice isn't doing too well lately.  I know I'll go through different stages of recouperation.  The tumour is going through transitions over the next 2-3 yrs and upon it's pending death, it fights back with different issues.
On my way to work.  Have to make money to buy this machine.  Getting it from a customer of mine and it comes with cd's!  I'm excited.

I want to take this space to thank those who support me through either the comments section or emails.  You are the reason I still write here.  It helps me let out what's on my mind and in turn I hope it helps you to understand what CK does as well I add a little humour to the writings.
Spent the day today skating with the boys.  Naz hooked up my new printer/scanner and also my new radio/mp3/bluetooth all in one in the van.  LUV IT! 
Still feeling punky, which is why I am here typing while the gang is downstairs doing RockBand.  It really is fun just listening to them.  I do the drums sometimes which takes no vocal effort.  We also played DDR onWii and man, what fun that is too!  Really gets you moving.  Funny thing is, my son's friend Blake did EXPERT and got 73 Million!!!  He is amazing.  So four of us took one arrow each and sat beside our area and hit the arrow.  We only had ONE arrow to worry about and we were using our hands.  We STILL could not beat him!  lol
Yesterday was a very sore day.  Not my throat but the actual tumour area.  I think I have just over done myself and my talking.  NO DUH!!!! lol
Tomorrow night is WILD WING night with the boys and Naz.  Maybe get some billiards at a billiards hall.  The boys enjoy the social aspect of that and so do I.  We have a billiards table they have been practicing on.
Again, tomorrow is HUMP day.  Wednesday!  :)

Have had a wonderful holiday so far!  Thanks to my wonderful neighbours, Naz and I spent a great Christmas Eve skating on the rink they made out on the lake.  Then Christmas day they came over and insisted we go there for dinner. :)  YUMMY!
Boxing day we head down to Niagara Region and spent part of the day with my family and the night time we had a hotel in Niagara Falls and spent the night at the Falls View Casino.  Love the entertainment value.
Today, we brought the boys back up for the week after spending a day at my dads and his girlfriends for another dinner. 
I am literally so beat that I feel I have been beat up.  My voice is gone.  The band was so loud last night I over used my voice to talk and have wrecked it.  It is so painful near the tumour site and my voice is so gruff.  I'm going to baby it for the next couple of days.  My eyes are burning right now as I am SO tired.  Waaa waaaaaaaaa wa!  lol  What a complainer I am here.  Back to positive things!
Jamie my middle son got me my most wonderful gift!!!  I have wanted the item for so long!  Thank you Jamie!  xo
Hope you all had a great Christmas.  Ho Ho Ho :)

I'm off for a week! (after tomorrow night)  My boss gave me a week off,, wow (wink wink)
For those of you who don't know, I'm self employed.  :)  I mobile groom and travel from house to house, bring in my equipment and set up in their homes.  Only thing they have to provide is the tub and towel.  Works out great as I get to know the customers well and their pets are way more relaxed at home.
So I was not quite done my Christmas shopping.  Always something else to buy, and so I did!  I'm done now tho.  Except for my dad and his girlfriend, going to get that one in Niagara. 
Got a cute text message from Naz telling me to "Keep smiling and comb over those bald spots."  He makes me laugh all the time.  Sense of humour is the most important thing and keeping a positive mind.  I do both.
Don't look at the glass half empty, but look at it half full.  blahhh blahhh blahhh.
Santa must almost have that sleigh filled!  Wonder what's in it for me :)

The wrapping is all done.. whoo hoooo!  Now just have to wait until Santa comes.
I did wake to more larger bald spots (one inch to 1 1/2 inch).  Mostly all around the top of my head and smaller ones in and round my head.  My head feels a little sensitive too.  The top of it.  But, as I (think) mentioned before, I have tonnes of hair to fool around with thanks to my fathers side so losing some here and there won't matter.  Kinda funny the way it falls out tho, in round pink patches.  You can't even tell from a front view of me at all as they are further up and back on my head and the rest of my hair covers them.
I have really really good news tho!  I no longer have to take my other two liquid medications I have been taking four times a day.  It was for thrush and ulcers in my mouth and throat but I feel fit as a fiddle now and no longer need them. 
Time for work once again.  Gotta beautify the Bobcaygeon canine. 
Have a great HUMP day (Wednesday!!!!!  Keep your minds outta the gutter).
      :)

I'm thinking my hair loss was something to do with pms.. lol
But no, here I am just this morning doing my hair and I take the mirror to look at the back of my hair.  WoW!  The top of my scalp has a huge toonie size (maybe larger) pink round bald spot.  I didn't even look for more.  Didn't want to.  lol 
Anyway, I did know that different areas of my head may have balding from the radiation.  Just kinda weird to see it. 
I had earlier posted a post about my hair thinking it was ok.  But I have obviously erased it since my new discovery.
I have a new song "All I want for Christmas is my hair to grow back".. :)
So I went and looked for more.  Found another bald spot and another half bald spot.  I'm gonna call cause they told me they would not be going through my brain to get to the tumour.  But in reality, if those burn areas are on the top of my head, those rays were beaming at that spot.  Giving them a call today.
Happy Shopping all!  I am done.  (gonna wrap tonight) .. xo

They didn't say anything about me losing any of my hair.  I had read about it but they said it would not affect me that way. 
Well, on the contrary, I showered this a.m. and the tub was full, the showercurtain was lined with hair, and when I towel dried my hair, it also was full.  I am not complaining as I have soooo much hair to begin with.  But I hope it'll stop at ONE point.
Hair Thinning and Hair Loss  Hair loss may be temporary or permanent,  depending upon the dose of radiation and  your particular treatment plan. If your hair  loss is temporary, it usually takes about 3  months before your hair begins to grow back. 
I found that on the internet under a cyberknife after effects.  Anyway, I guess you can't radiate around hair and not expect some loss.  Then again, could just be that dry cold time of year hair change.. (yeah right).
Anyway, If you see me wigging it along the way, I'll go Brunette!!!! :p
It's Friday, my favorite day of the week.  Even tho I love my job, I love time with the family even more! xo 

Yeah, it's still sore and I have not yet learned to eat soft foods.  I'm still doing the brocoli and steak with ceasar salad and croutons.  Hurts to eat but the yum out weighs the ouch. 
Bought some cepacol throat things that numb my throat and some "Ricola's".  LOL Just reminds me of the actual commercial with that swiss guy standing on a mountain piping outta that long tube and singing RICOLAAAAA!! lol
Thing is, I'm quite sure I'm on my way to feeling better each day now.  I think the worst is over.  :)

Well, not going to repeat the post below, so I'll say there's no change.
I can say tho I am STILL not interested in drinking anything but water.  Weird for me because wine is my second staple of liquid.  lol
Finally got my own dog groomed.  A customer of mine called and wanted his Golden Ret groomed.  Well, I'm not really into grooming large dogs at the moment with all the equipment and stuff needed.  BUT, his basement is set up like a grooming shop.  Raised tub, table.. ect.  Made him a deal.  I'll groom his dog if he lets me bring my dog and groom there.  BINGO!  Done deal. :)
Now I have a fresh smelling, soft silky dog.  I can pet him again.  lol  He was getting a little stinky :p
Well, off to work for 8 a.m.  It's 7:45 now so I won't be toooooo late today. 
One more thing!  I'm so waiting for this.  Went to the Buckeye Auction in support of Cancer and Naz and I had bid on a 2 week rental on a Pink Hottub.  Built especially for that auction.  We got it.  It's coming next week and the boys and girls have no idea.  It'll be a great 2 weeks holidays (I'll still be working some of it).  Going to go right outside on the deck in the snow.  What fun, what fun!  Bobcaygeon stars, music piping outta the speakers and hot tub. 

I can now understand what the doc's meant by "in a couple of weeks" it'll get worse.  OUCHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The thrush has started with little white patches/dots and the ulcers have started with big round burn looking marks.  My throat feels like someone is stabbing it with a knife and rubbing it with sand paper all at the same time.
The new medications are staying down better.  I figured out what, take on an empty stomach means.. lol  Plus, I need to stay sitting up for at least a half hour instead of laying down after taking them.  Little things to learn along the way.
Hurts to eat, drink, anything... Doesnt hurt to talk, but once again I have no strength to my voice.
On a very good note, I am on the road to recovery!!!  With every "ouch", there is a "healing".  The snow is covering the ground nicely.. so it'll be a white Christmas.  The boys and us had a great weekend!  The girls are estatic about Santa Clause.  Most of my shopping is done.  Even for Naz's Birthday which falls on Christmas Eve.
Off to work now, I'm once again procrastinating and now I'm - LATE.